HodgePodgeFailBlog: Pinterest Edition

Not all mason jar meals are created equally.

Like every other self-respecting female living in the first world, I love me some Pinterest. So when I was in a rather frugal and healthy mood this evening, I decided to actually USE one of the ideas I had repinned from my "Grub to Try" board. Salad, meet mason jar.

I'm sure you have seen this precious portable lunch idea:

Aaaaaaaaaaaand Adele's version:

Nailed it. 

It is veggies, tuna and honey mustard. And particularly visually unappetizing. But damn those mason jars are sexy.

Warm arugula salad with pepper and onions

& SAUSAGE.

For too long have us women folk hid behind a dainty veil of girly ooo la la and failed to include one of the most mysterious but exquisite foods in the history of mysterious exquisite foods. If the stereotypical male meal and stereotypical female meal had a risqué taboo offspring, this dish would be it.

Meal male female male meal ten times fast. GOTCHA!

But to all you wilted arugula and sausage salads out there, know this: It gets better. People may tsk tsk you now, but soon enough you'll be in so popular that the entire world will know the satisfying glory that is you. Shout it to the hilltops! Tell your boss! Tweet your mother! #OccupySausageSalads

It goes a lil sumthin' like this:

1 generou$ Arugula handful
1 spicy sausage link
1/3 C. Chopped onion
1 Sliced red (or yellow! or orange!) bell pepper
2 TBSP NF Thousand Island Dressing
A smattering of H2theizzo

Oh em gee! That's only like 5.023101 ingredients!

Cook the sausage, peppers and onions.

Add dressing with a wee bit of water, just to stretch out the dressing.

1000 islands: 0 fat grams

Place greenz in tupperware with lid.

ssssssssttttttteeeeeaaaaammmmmyyyyyyyyy. 

Place lid on steamy salad, then make like Shakira's hips and SHAKE IT!

xoxo,
@d373 

Totes Delish Turk Burg

Just when you think you've tasted all the burger flavor combos out there, chicka chicka boom boom, you're doomed to burger swoon.

Dem Toppin's

Goat cheese

Arugula

Kiwi

Cantaloupe

Raspberry Vinaigrette  

Lemon Juice

The Burger

1lb ground turkey

1 stalk sliced green onion

2 tsp Fresh minced ginger

1/4 C. Soy sauce

1/2 C. chopped white onion

S&P

To assemble the burger, combine in a large bowl the turkey, minced ginger, onions and green onions and with your squeaky clean digits, monster mash the heck out of it. Form in to legit sized patties (keep in mind bun-to-burger ratio) and fry so hard. 

While those patties get like the girls and the years (GOLDEN), slightly brown your kiwi slices. KIWI ON A BURGER?!?! Oh yeah. I went there. 

Next, whip up the fruit salad/slaw/medley. Use a quarter cup of your favorite raspberry vinaigrette (see above clip art) and add chopped cantaloupe and kiwi. Add maybe a TBSP of lemon juice to your fruit funhouse. Then mix together and place atop your sultry arugula bed. Do it. 

Now listen up, the assembly of the burger is crucial to maximum deliciousness. I shall with words type you a diagram. 

Bun

Fruit Medley

Arugula 

Grilled Kiwi

Turk Burg

Goooooooat cheeeeeeeese

Bun

I am serious about the order of biz nass here! This is like a wondrous symphony, each twist and turn of flavor and textures depends on the former and later taste notes. NO FUNNY BUSINESS. 

Soy Spagizo

Deet deet deet deet deet deet deet, this just in, ADELE GOT A NEW MACBOOK PRO! Keep in mind that all prior posts were done during lunch breaks on my work computer, so cut me some slack Jack. Rest assured, this shall take blogging to a whole 'notha LEVEL!

Per usual, here is some random [VEGAN] deliciousness that I hath prepared. Buckle in kids!

Le Ingredientz:

(négative pøints for the sloppy pic, I realize that empty pasta bags and jars look more like trash than cooking inspiration)

First thangz first. See, the thing is, this was super duper E-Z. 

2/3 jar marinara sauce (mine was leftover, you may use a full jar)

1 can whole kernel corn

3 TBSP vegan cream chz

1/2 tube of soy chorizo

2 sliced green onions

1/2 package whole wheat spag pasta

The combo was like spicy soy tex mex chili country where taste is the president and he just passed Proposition 2Scrumptious4YourOwnGood. Yeah, like that. 

  

All I did was mix together all of the ingredients. The End.