Eggs, Apples and Bread That Is Flat.

First thangz first. The general idea of these pizzas is winning. However, do as I say, not as I do. 

More specifically, more cheese please. Even more specifically, I would like to be so bold as to categorize these gems in the flatbread kingdom. Not saucy or cheesy enough to be pizza. 

Too bad, so sad.

To your left, capocolla, egg and pea sprouts (with a healthy drizzle of siracha). To your right, apple, prosciutto, basil and cheddar.

Not shown: Cheddar cheese. The picture that I took when cheesed was U-G-L-Y, and I had no alibi.

Pay no mind to the wasabi almonds, I decided that was a foolish ingredient inclusion.

I know what you're thinking. Pea shoots? What are these shoots of the pea variety that you speak of?! Well shoot. Peas allow me to drop some knowledge on yur noggin. My vision was that these pea shoots would be magically sweet-ish and crunchy fresh, as to compliment the rich italian meats and mascarpone cheese sauce. Little did I know, they suck.

In a very serious taste test by yours truly, I went with the capocollo for the egg & pea shoots pizza. Prosciutto invited apple, basil and cheddar to the flatbread party in your mouth. Calabrese salame was picked last in this foodblog kickball game and was only present for moral support. 

A white sauce was too obvi, so I took a chance on this concoction. Above is the mascarpone, some whole grain dijon, chopped basil and fresh garlic. 

The pizza dough that I ever so carefully rolled out was a super sensi, so in order to not rip the dough, I baked it a smidge before I spread the m-pone sauce on the dough. 

In a perfect world, I would recommend that you placed sliced provo on top of all this goodness above. Let it get a wee bit melty (bake at 450 for  maybe 10 mins), then crack a couple eggs and switch to broil. This is the trickiest part! As you can unfortunately see, I cooked the egg for too darn long and this arugula has seen better days. This is a well intentioned flatbread, but falls..........flat.

What a wonky lookin' meal.

The apple/cheddar flatbread was even less photogenic, so I'll spare your eyeballs and my street cred. It has the same sauce as the other flatbread, but the toppings included prosciutto, sliced pink lady apples, fresh basil leaves and sharp cheddar. 

Go forth and flatbread, ya'll.

Parsnip Pasta

Hey kids, its a two for one evening extravaganza! (See previous salad) 

WOW! 2 blog posts, 1 night and a lifetime of enjoyment!

Last week I crafted a pasta of sorts. 

Ingredients assemble!

Leeks

Garlic

Broccolli 

Parsnips

Butta

Cream of mushroom soup (the Healthy Request version, obvi)

a single Laughing Cow cheese triangle

parsley, so fresh and so clean

Do this:

1. Sautee dem leeks and garlic with a sensible amount of butter.
2. Use a veggie peeler to bust out these ingenious strands of parsnip. Be sure to peel off the regular skin before shredding the rest of the root. Add to sautéed mix. 
3. Add broccoli. 
4. STOP. Collaborate and get a separate pan to make the sauce. And by sauce I mean, you take 1/2 a can of the cream of shroom soup, add some water, and the amused bovine wedge. I used the French Onion flavor. Heat until sawsey. 
5. Add boss sauce to veggies.
6. Daintily caress the dish with minced parsley. 
7. Enjoy the fact that this plate of veggies is creamy and crafty and one hundo percent tasty. 

some salad or whatever

Good evening interwebz. Please extend a warm welcome to guest blogger Blake. Follow him on Twitter. @FoxandRobin. Be extremely unimpressed at his sad little tweetless account. Thank him later for introducing a baller salad combo. And judge me on my crummy post and unappetizing pictures of weird salad. 

Never fear, that mush is tasty avocado mush. 

The real kicker is the dressing. This dressing fiesta included the following guests:

Olive oil

Balsamic vinegar

Dijon mustard

Strawberry jam

hawt sawz

Topped with raw mixed nuts, avocado, dried cranberries and a blueberrymintgrapefruit garnish. 

AND DELICIOUSNESS!

Mmmkay bye.